The Diary Of A Naija Chickito

To return or not to return

2009-09-18T14:49:00.005+01:00

I apologize!
Don't even know where to start from.
How are you all doing? I've have missed all of you sooooo much. Thanks to all of you who still kept coming by with the hopes that I would someday return. I don't know that I'm returning for good, but I'm here today..that's what I know for sure.

The past one and a half years for me has been one big roller-coaster ride. I've called at least six or seven different countries home..it's crazy I tell you. I just wanna be home; the real home...in naija. In Abuja at the moment for a few weeks then I'm out again to SA for another few weeks. My new job is crazy, I tell ya. I've been to places I never dreamed I would ever go...I think I'm also a very different person...grown up a whole lot...

My big news? I got married in March this year!!! Yay. It was supposed to be last December, but because of my traveling, we had to postpone it. Marriage is great. Ain't pregnant yet (to the chagrin of my 'aunts' and 'uncles'), have no intention to be any time soon. Boo thinks it's not the right time with all my traveling and all. I couldn't agree more.

Will do a proper post this weekend, hopefully. I need to go round blogsville and see what y'all up to and meet the new kids on the block.

I'm out!

I Hate Tagging, Please Can It Stop Now?

2008-05-20T12:54:00.010+01:00

I was tagged by afrobabe and anonymous gal, and as far as tagging goes, I hate it, as my title already suggests! I know I've done a meme before, but what ever...Here it is..again!

Here are the rules:

Link the person who tagged you…
Mention the rules in your blog
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

I find it difficult to say no, with the exception of saying it to silly boys of course! 'Chickito, please can I have so and so?' OR 'Chickito, will you do so and so for me?'
'Yes please, no problem' is my surest answer to these questions, even when I feel like shouting a big NO. I need help there. Why can't I just say no?
I can't stand it when people move my things from where I kept them originally. Things have to be a certain way for me to be happy. I guess that's one of the reasons I never want to share a room with anyone. They don't get it! They just dont. Now that scares me because I'll get married and it will definitely happen and I'll always be pissed!
I love to fart. Ok, can't believe I admitted that, but it's true. I don't know if it's just the sound of the loud ones, or the smell...lol. Disgusting I know, but hey, you asked! And I love doing it in the presence of people. It's no fun doing it when I'm alone. Boo feels embarrassed when I do it in front of other people. Poor soul!
Who cares for panties? Not me! I go about without underwear. Whether I'm wearing trousers, skirts or dresses! I only break this rule when I'm on my period or going to church. Can't say exactly why this is so...hmmm
I'm a freak for nice scents. Notice, not smell! I can't stand body odour, mouth odour or any other odour for that matter. The fastest way to get me to notice you is walk past me with a killer (in a good way, that is) fragrance...I go just dey follow you.
I choose to always see the glass as half full. I'm a very optimistic soul. 'Things will get better' is my motto, even in the midst of calamity. I choose to always look on the bright side.

That's all folks. Terribly disappointing, I'm sure. Told you, I hate this tagging thing. I'm also not going to tag anyone, you can breathe out now.

~~~~

On a lighter note....

This is the picture if a Zimbabwean boy on his way to buy a loaf of bread!!! What can I say? Things will get better.
I'm out.

LOL!

2008-05-15T16:49:00.008+01:00

Holla Pipo,
How's everyone doing? I know y'all were in panic following my last post. I'm so sorry...not! Lol. Really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was truly touched that you do really care about what happens to me. Feels like family up in here...for real. Was just trying to write something nice. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. I am also pleased to announce to you, that Boo is doing well. He's out of town at the moment, so I'm a bit lonely. But we are doing well. We had a little fight at the airport before his departure, but nothing relationship threatening. He does get on my nerves sometimes. Actually, a lot. But that's gist for another day.

I received a very sweet email recently and thought to share with y'all. Hope you enjoy it as much as i did. Will do a proper update soon.

~~~THROUGH A CHILD'S EYES~~~

Have a lovely weekend y'all. Peace!

Brokenness

2008-05-08T14:43:00.003+01:00

It was a rainy night. Dark clouds shadowed the skies. Thunder and lightning rumbled across the heavens and the trees bowed in adoration and awe of the mighty wind. Little children were screaming in fright. Even adults trembled in fear willing the storm to be over. I was numb from the pain, oblivious to my surroundings. For all I cared the world could burn down in an instant. It would still have made no sense. What was life anyway? Who cared if we lived or perished? My mind was in absolute turmoil, the storm within greater than the one without. At intervals, I got curious stares from those around, but nobody asked any questions. Everyone pondered over his own inner thoughts and left me to burn in my own private hell.

I thought this love was forever. I could have sworn we were soul mates, made for each other. Is this how it felt to be heartbroken? I could feel the life draining from my quivering flesh, my heart shattering into a thousand pieces wounding my insides and scaring my soul. I knew in that instant I would never love again. There wasn’t enough of me to give away. I had become an incomplete woman, one who was once cherished and valued for her emotional independence. What I wouldn’t give to be in the arms of the one who promised to love me forever…just one more time. I’d give my arm and leg just to hear the words I once took for granted from the one who vowed to never bring me to this point.

That night marked the beginning of the end for me in many ways, after he told me it was over. Just like that. No explanation. No backward glance. One minute he was there, and the next he was gone. Later, my friends would try to tell me I’m better off without him. The bunch of liars. What do they know?

Today, I’m as weak as I was that night. I can’t concentrate on anything. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. The memories are drowning my spirit. I hate him but I hate me even more. For allowing myself to give of me so freely, trustingly and with a reckless abandon. I smile but all they see is a frown. I try to speak but all they hear are sobs. Maybe I should take a vacation or maybe I should just die. I hear them laughing at me, “she always thought she was better than us!” they say in scorn.

I’m losing me…yes I feel me departing, from this temple I always thought I’d reside in for a long while to come…what have I done? Where am I? I’m confused. This must be what it feels like to be insane. I’m broken…

I'm Back!!!

2008-04-30T11:42:00.004+01:00

The weirdest, most annoying thing just happened to me now! I just typed a very long post and it disappeared before I could save or publish it. I'm so pissed. The auto save thingy doesn't seem to be working anymore. In fact this 'Create Post' page is looking real strange to me!

Well, let me try and start afresh...dang!
Thanks to all those who kept checking up on me. I'm back now and ready for action. My boss traveled since last week (em, sorry o), but he gave me a whole lot of work to last one year! I've relaxed jare...since I know I possibly can't meet up before he returns on Monday. Talk about unrealistic expectations!!

Nothing much has been happening sha...a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I will now proceed to ramble some. My aunt (Mom's cousin) was in Abuja over the weekend. She was on her way to Kaduna on official assignment and decided to visit with me before continuing on her journey. She kept asking funny questions and I knew they were all about Boo. She was asking strange questions like who paid for my house? Who furnished it? Who bought me a car? How did I get my job? Was I sleeping with Boo? I thought these questions were down right strange and inappropriate, but I just laughed them off without answering any of them. I introduced her to Boo eventually at a party organized by Boo's office. He asked me to invite her if she was up to it. To cut the long story short, she was acting real funny all night. When we got home, I asked her what the problem was, but she said that her spirit and his don't agree, that she prayed about us and because she felt uneasy, she decided to speak to her pastor. Her pastor told her that Boo is a 419, that he just wants to use and dump me! She went on to say that the only way I could make him mine forever was to get pregnant, that couldn't I see he was too good to be true? I was too amazed for words! Just imagine. I told her I didn't want to hear any more. If that was her motherly advice to me, she should just keep it to herself. Her 2 daughters are yet to be married and they are older than me...no suitors, nothing. Na my life she wan come spoil? If she knew so much, why were her kids not married? Abeg! I feel she is just jealous.
I was so glad when she left. I told Boo all she said and we laughed together. It's been a while I heard such crap, really.

I have started going to the gym again (I quit a while back and I swear, I've gained at least 2KG!). I want to loose the extra weight and prevent any future weight gains. Putting on the weight is easy, but getting it off is the real pain. I weigh 64KG normally. I'm 5ft 6inches tall, so I'm just OK. Not skinny, but not fat and I love the way i am but I need to work hard to maintain what I've got. That reminds me...one jerk of a guy saw me having lunch in my office recently and was trying to joke one kind yeye joke. He said, 'Chickito, So you still dey chop? You are already well padded and people like you need to save food for the rest of us to eat.' He laughed very loudly as if congratulating himself for telling some brilliant joke. The guy forgot that his wife looks like luxury bus tyres. Very chubby (that is putting it mildly!) I replied him with, 'I'm guessing your wife didn't get the memo?' *Ouch* I'm sure he thought to himself. He stopped laughing and walked away. Next time, he'd know better.

Any way I guess I've done my bit here for today. Be good y'all and enjoy the rest of your day!
I'm out!

Lazy Me

2008-04-18T12:02:00.003+01:00

...So bite me! Abeg jo. Things are really hectic for me at the moment. Blogging has been relegated to the back seat for now. Hopefully when my boss travels, I will be back in form. But for now, I have to snick around just to read your blogs.

Missing you guys real bad...*sniff sniff*
Don't forget me, please? I'm still around. Check up on me when you can.
I love y'all.
I'm out.

N.B: Abbie, ma big sis DL and Ms Emotions..a special shout out to you for showing the love...muahhhh.

The Female Driver

2008-04-04T08:39:00.007+01:00

It rained for a bit this morning in Abuja. Thankfully, when it does, there is still no traffic and water doesn't gather annoyingly on the roads. I was running a little late for work this morning, so I drove a little faster than I normally would, but no matter how fast I'm moving, I'm always very conscious of traffic rules. I don't overtake wrongly or put the lives of other drivers and passengers at stake. There was a driver who tried to overtake me wrongly, because he saw I was a female driver. (Why are Nigerian drivers so impatient?). But as an expert driver myself (if I may say so..started driving at sixteen), I maneuvered my car, making sure he didn't pass me. Normally I just let crazy, impatient drivers go with their wahala. But this morning, I was running late, so I didn't. After trying everything he possible could to scare me off and I didn't budge, he conceded defeat to prance on the next victim. I wasn't aware that a bus driver watched us with amusement and when we stopped at the next traffic light, he said,
'You be woman o, why you dey drive like tazi driva?' He was smiling. As if to say he was impressed. I wasn't sure if I liked the back handed compliment, but I just let it slide without responding.

Most times while driving, I've seen and heard other drivers insulting female drivers. Comments like 'E no sabi, na woman, no wonder,' or 'I must drive myself, you no go tell your husband to give you driver?' or 'Na so woman dey drive!' are not uncommon on the road. Are there really that few good female drivers, or are the male drivers just being sexist? It annoys me on end though, when I see a woman who has no business driving, being a nuisance on the streets. I feel it is women like that that make people generalize that women are bad drivers. If it is a man, no one says anything, they'd just write it off as one of those things, maybe he's having a bad day! *Hiss*
Here are some photos I got in an email a while ago..

I just couldn't help but add these pictures. I'm not making fun of my gender o. Hehe.
I've got to go. Have a lovely weekend y'all. Muuaah

About Bread Winning and Condoms

2008-03-28T10:59:00.005+01:00

...For the lack of a better title...

Yeah I know, I've been missing in action. But I've still been very much around on your pages. How's everyone doing? I'm alright. Work's killing me though. Trying not to complain too much, because some people will kill to be where I am. God's been good.

Was discussing with a friend of mine, who's getting married on Saturday, that's two days from now. She's the one with the job. Her man doesn't have one. He's not lazy or anything like that, but he just thinks he ought to be a stay home dad. At first when I heard that, I was alarmed. But she explained the situation to me and it got me thinking. She makes pretty good money like you can't even imagine. They've been dating since school. They finished school and she got a job even before she graduated. (Yeah, she's brainy like that). He does this and that to bring in a little cash, but he has no steady job. She's the major bread winner. He'll probably get by without her, but she's definitely made his life more comfortable.

A lot of people say he's a gold digger, but I know that ain't the case but people don't really understand. Now my question is, is it Nigerian (or manly for that matter) to be a house husband? If the husband and wife decide that the woman should bring the money, who's to say she shouldn't? What's right and what's wrong? I know people will say, a couple should decide what works best for them, as no two marriages can ever be the same. But is this ever a healthy arrangement? I need to know from the men. I, for one can't marry a man who'll be content to let me bring in the cash month after month. I'll definitely grow resentful toward him.

Something really embarrassing happened to me today. In fact that's what even inspired this post. I took a colleague of mine to the clinic this morning. She was to go see the doctor for a routine check-up today. Her car broke down on her way to work, so she begged me to give her a ride to the clinic. We got to the hospital and the doctor she wanted to see is a friend of ours, so we were gisting and playing with the guy. When we were about to leave, we saw a pack of condoms on a table by the door. I made to pass by without giving it another thought(I mean which one concern Agbero with overload?) But not my friend, she reached for a handful. I just shook my head. the doctor said she should go and marry before she shags all the guys in Abuja and then none of them will agree to marry her again. We all laughed. It was a joke.

On our way out, she slipped them into my bag, as she left hers at the office. When we got back to the office, we both forgot her condoms in my handbag. By this time, like 11:30, I was already late for a departmental meeting slated for 11am, so we just ran off to our respective buildings and promised to meet for lunch. I got into the meeting and luckily since it was a big meeting, my lateness wasn't really noticed by those that mattered. I just quietly took a seat at the back. During tea break, the whole place was rowdy, people greeting people and just moving around. Me and my friends were together making noise in one corner. Suddenly someone shoved me hard from behind and knocked my bag off my shoulders, almost knocking me down as well. I turned to glare at him and pass a rude comment (the guy is my friend) only to notice everyone staring at the contents of my bag that had spilled out. They seemed to be shocked.I wondered why. I had totally forgotten them condoms. Chei. If I could blush i would have turned the crimson colour of ripe red cherries! Can't remember the last time I felt this embarrassed in public. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me. One colleague of mine quickly rushed over to help me. After picking up all the condoms, she said loudly, 'Here are your six condoms.' They were all laughing.

I'm over the incident now and I called my friend immediately to come and take her property. All the guys have been giving me lewd glances since then, like they wanna get in my pants. (Or maybe I'm just imagining it). One even said, 'Chickito, I could have sworn that you are a sweet innocent thing. I guess it's just your act.' I feel my rep has been irreparably damaged. Ahh. Well, if any one of them comes to say rubbish in my ear, I will pour devil beans down his pants! (Remember devil beans, anyone? It's this itchy plant we used to see as kids in the football field or wherever).

Well that's all for now folks. I'm out. Muaahhh...

New Wife?

2008-03-13T17:31:00.007+01:00

It's so much easier to go around reading other peoples blogs and leaving comments. I try to update every single day, but I start and never finish. Work nko? It sure doesn't help the matter. A lot of things are happening and I know I should blog about them. This post is a bit long (sorry o, the story plenty!) I know, but I don't want to do part two like some people (DL, na you I dey talk. Go update jo)!

First off, last weekend was some thing else. I traveled home to attend a wedding. I arrived on Saturday morning and went straight to my Parents' house to get ready for the wedding which was to begin by noon, abi where was I supposed to go before? Let me take this slow. My Dad sent a driver to come pick me from the airport. Boo followed me inside just to greet my parents and then the driver took him to his own house. A few minutes before 12 noon, Boo returned to pick me up and we left the house. (I have a bad habit of sometimes leaving my phone at home if I feel I might not have any need for it, or I just don't want to be disturbed and that day was one of such days.)

We arrived at the wedding and I was there enjoying my self jejely with my man and I felt this great urge to turn my head to look behind me. Ah, there she was! Boo's Mother. She had this accusing look in her eyes. I waved and smiled at her, she just moved her eyes up and down (as in she eyed me very well) and turned her head away. I just pretended I was waving to someone else. I turned to Boo and asked, 'Why is your Mom mad at me? Have I done something wrong or is it her just being her usual self?'
Boo smiled at me and said, 'Pay her no mind babe, she's just being herself,' and he winked at me.
'It's only because of you that I put up with her, hope you know that,' and I just kept grumbling to myself about why she won't just give me a chance and blah, blah bla. Boo took my hand and squeezed it and we continued to enjoy the wedding and I forgot about Boo's Mom for a while.

At the reception, I noticed that all of Boo's sisters had arrived. All six of them. From my table,I could see everyone sitting at their own table. Boo's parents, his sisters and some of their friends. I got up to go say hi and tell them I'd be coming to the house later in the day to pay them a visit. As I approached, I noticed one really pretty chick sitting at the table. I couldn't help but notice her. She was a very attractive- light, smooth complexion, lovely hair, slender body- woman. She couldn't have been much older than me. I greeted Boo's dad first, and he stood up to give me a hug. That gave me the strength to face the brood of vipers! lol. He asked after my parents, my health, etc, like a true father would. Then I turned to greet the others. Mom first.
'Hello Mom, it's so good to see you. You look wonderful. I believe all is well?' I had on this plastic smile and it threatened to break if worn for much longer.
'I am fine. So you are too big to reply my text messages now? Hmm, this our wife. I wanted to know why you didn't think you should have come to greet your in-laws when you entered town. I know my son was at your house. I don't believe that this is how your mother taught you to behave toward the family you have plans of marrying into. Is this how you intend to impress us?' See me o. Impress them, what for? I just stood there dumb founded.
Boo's dad came to my rescue. He said, 'Woman, leave her alone. Why do you bother the child?' I felt like crying. Me I get Mama too o. I felt like telling her off. But for Boo's sake I held my tongue, and said instead, still smiling (I'm sure the smile had broken off on some parts of my face!lol) 'Ah Mommy. I just went home to change. Will be at the house after the wedding. And I didn't know you sent me a text. My phone is at home. I am sorry.'

She just made one sound in her throat and turned way. Then as if thinking aloud, she said, 'If you don't like what you have, there are others who will take it from you and do a better job with it.' I didn't understand what she meant then. I greeted Boo's sisters and went back to my table. Then the pretty girl I saw earlier came over to my table and said to Boo, 'Your mom asked me to get you.' Her voice was really sweet and she looked really innocent with her big eyes. She stretched out her hand shyly and he took it. Before leaving with her, he did a quick introduction. I learned her name was *Bianca and her family was friends with his family. As they walked away, she held on to him as if holding on for dear life. It was quite funny to me. When they got to the other table, it was so obvious she was smitten by him. She was flirting with him quite openly and Boo's family members were looking on with approval. I wasn't bothered. I went to the dance floor and danced for a while, went around greeting old friends and generally having a good time.

After the wedding party, Boo and I went straight to his house. From all that had happened at the party, it was obvious to me that this Bianca girl was planted by Boo's mom to try and seduce her son. I no ku ku sabi fight for man. He has to make his decision to stay with me or not. Boo's mom was always saying so I could hear, 'Bianca is this, Bianca is that.' She was just being childish as far as I'm concerned. The boy has made his choice, why won't they just leave him be?

When his mom said 'Ah Boo, Bianca will be coming to Abuja in 2 weeks. She's in Nigeria for a month and I will appreciate it and consider it a personal favor, if you would entertain her for the period she will be in Abuja,' I just smiled to myself. She couldn't have been any more forward.
He asked Bianca if she had already booked her hotel and his mom came in again, 'Hotel ke? What for? Isn't your house big enough? You have 3 bedrooms, surely She can stay in one of them.' I continued to listen to this conversation as if they were discussing some tennis game in which I had no interest in whatsoever. This went on and on and Boo firmly rejected to have her in his house. He was willing to book her into a hotel and show her around town when she came in, but that was where he drew the line. 'That's my man, I thought to myself!'

Momsie, seeing she was getting no where with her dubious plan said, 'Or is it because of Chickito? Chickito my dear, will you mind if he let her stay in his house for a few days?' hehehehe. Very funny. Since when did I become her dear? Abegi!
I replied sweetly, 'I think he can make up his own mind Mom. Whatever he decides is Ok with me.'

Anyway, let me cut the long story short. My mother in law (to be) wants to give her son another wife. Imagine that. I mean, she disrespects me already, but this was taking it up a notch! I am not jealous at all. The chick is fine but I can hold my own against her any day. I am not moved at all. Boo even tried to reassure me of his love and commitment to me. I told him I knew and I didn't need convincing. My only fear is that when we do finally get married I hope the woman will not continue her meddling ways. She is over bearing, and I keep praying to God for the grace to bear 'the burden' (she is the burden). AMEN.

That's it for now folks. I'm signing out right now. I gat to get back to work. Muahhhh

I remember...

2008-03-07T10:42:00.003+01:00

It's really been one very hectic week since I last updated. Work has really taken a hold of me, but I decided that today, nothing, whether man made or not, can stop me from updating. So let's get to it already.

Tomorrow, Boo and I will travel home for a friend's wedding. Did I mention that Boo and I come from the same place? Yep, so we'll get to spend time with our families. I'm really not looking forward to seeing his family members, God help me. His sisters are coming for the wedding as well - arrhggg.

Just as I was thinking about my childhood yesterday, I remembered an incident that occurred when I was about six years old. It happened to my younger sister and I. She was two. Her name is K. I used to go for evening lessons then. The driver would drop me and my elder brother off by 3:00pm after school and my parents will come pick us up at 6:00pm. I used to love the drive back home. My parents would stop to buy roasted corn and pear or bole (roasted plantain) depending on the season, for us to eat on the ride back home. I just loved those evenings. We lived in the G.R.A and the streets were always quiet and cool, because of the big trees along the road. My sister and I would ask our parents to drop us off two streets from our house, so we could walk home and eat our snack and just enjoy nature. The streets were short and so the walk was less than 10 minutes. This was usually the highlight of our day.

One faithful day, as we were walking back home from the point our parents had dropped us off, we met two men. You see, our parents told us never to talk to anyone we didn't know on our way. So when we saw the two men, we made to pass them. I noticed that they were looking at us as if trying to look for something. I remember one of them one was wearing camouflage shirt and trousers and the other wore cream linen (or maybe it was cotton) buba and sokoto (native style shirt and trouser). Camouflage guy said to linen guy, when we got close enough to hear,
'Let's take them. They look OK to me.'
Linen guy answered, 'No now, they are too small.' They stopped to look at us, but we kept walking. K didn't seem to realize what had just happened. I took her hand and we picked up our pace. My heart was pounding. After a few steps, I courageously looked back. They were still arguing with themselves. Our bend was just around the corner and as soon as we took it, I told K, 'Run!'

We ran like we have never run before. I never looked back until I was safely inside my house. My Mom asked what the matter was, and I narrated the whole thing to her. She told me that the men were kidnappers! Of course that was the last time we ever took our evening stroll on the way back from lesson. It's funny the things you never forget from your childhood.

I remember once when my Mom traveled, my Dad had to give me a bath in the morning to prepare me for school. I was in KG3. I remember my Mom never had the patience to feed us when we were little, it was always my Dad's job. He'll sit with us for hours until we were fed our lunch. By this time my Mom had entered 'gear 2' in her siesta. I remember My Dad used to always make breakfast on week days before waking our Mom and us. I remember my Mom taking me to the market one evening, (I couldn't have been more than 2) and one woman said I was a future 'Miss Nigeria'! I remember I took baby formula until after my sister was born. I remember I had this massive toy guitar I loved to play in front of the TV anytime a music video played on TV. I remember I used to love touching one exposed live wire in the living room. The shock was thrilling! I had no idea it was dangerous, until I was caught. So many random things come to mind now. Let me not get all weird on you!

I'm almost done fixing my new place up. I've hung my TV up on the wall. It's really wonderful having my own place. My ex flattie and her fiance have paid me my money. They are still together. Don't ask me how come. I'm not interested. Bayo just wants to move the wedding forward. I'm hearing it will be in May. Wharrever men. I wish them all the best. Me and Boo are doing OK. All is well and I'm grateful to God. I don't think I'm forgetting anything. So there. Have a lovely weekend.

I'm out.

2008-02-29T08:32:00.008+01:00

Hello people, just thought I'd come in here and dabble a little bit. And no, no drama this time. Things have been calm. I really don't know what I'm going to write today, but I'm sure by the time I'm done there'll be a few lines of something for you read and hopefully enjoy. There's this meme thing I've been seeing around blogville and I've decided to join the band wagon. haha. So here it goes.

Random things about me-

1. I hate wet grass or sand.
I don't know why, but right from when I was a child I just couldn't put my feet down on wet grass. It's so disgusting for me, even If I'm wearing shoes.
2. I love my own company.
When I'm alone, I do all kinds of things. Most times I'm some important celebrity or counselor being interviewed and telling people how to achieve great success like me. I guess I'm just practicing for the future huh?

3. I'm a great manipulator.
Although I have repented (or I'm in recovery, hehe). I know how to get my way from anyone. A few well constructed lines to hit my target and my puppy dog look, like I have no idea the kind of impact I'm making. Works every time. But I realized it's not really fair.
4. Used to think I'd end up being a singer (hence No. 2 above)
I have a lovely voice. Not kidding myself or anything, but I do have a great voice. I used to sing solos back in my home church choir and in my school fellowship back then. I still sing though but only in my shower (and for friends who beg me to)! My friends tried to make me go in to audition for the West African idols, but I wouldn't hear of it. 5. I'm a mommy's girl. (And my Dad is always jealous)
Those who know me well probably hear mommy this, mommy that, constantly. I love my mama to bits and have a very good relationship with her. She is a very important figure in my life and my role model. She is an achiever and a great everything. What else can I say?6. I'm a meat lover
Chicken, beef, goat meat, bush meat, turkey, snails, you name it (even fish) and I'll eat it. Please note that this does not include snake, frogs, cat and dogs. I'm talking about edible meat. lol. Some people dey chop dog o! Tufiakwa!!! You can winch me with meat. My mum used to say I'll have to marry a butcher to keep up with my insatiable love for meat. I don't understand people who don't eat meat, how do they do it? *shakes head*7. I used to love traveling by road
Until I was posted to Sokoto for my NYSC. I love to admire the landscape of the various states in Nigeria that I visit, and the best way for me to achieve this was to travel by road right? So, I got my letter to go and serve my country. I almost cried when I saw the state I was going to. But I decided to make an adventure out of it. I left my house (some where in south-south Nigeria) by 7:00am in the morning. I got to Sokoto by 2:30am the following morning. I was beat, hungry and pissed. Of course that was my last journey by road to the place. I redeployed back home after the 3 week camp. I had had enough. Now though, any journey more than 3 hrs by road, count me out!8. I'm an introvert.
Never the life of a party. Some people think I'm proud and pompous and mysterious. I don't try to prove them right or wrong. I let them think what they like, and it infuriates them. If you judge me before getting to me know, that's your cup of tea. I'm never going to try to impress anyone by pretending. What you see is what you get. But I am a very loving, humble and cheerful person, plain as day, if you take the time to get to know me.

9. I sleep in the nude
Except I have to share the room with a guy (which is rare anyway). I also walk around my house in just my panties, except there is a man around. I just love being naked. It's liberating!That's all I could come up with. Haha. It's not easy at all. I hope you were able to have a peak into....me.
Have a great lovely weekend.
I'm out

Random Happenings

2008-02-26T09:50:00.004+01:00

Pipo, how y'all doing? It's been a while huh? I'm finally moving to my own place next weekend by the grace of God. Yay!!! I found this really gorgeous one-bedroom flat and I'm ecstatic. It's simply lovely and I give thanks to God. Boo surprised me by buying me a flat-screen TV for my living room. He calls it his house warming gift to me. I was simply blown away (still am, actually. Never thought I'd own one so soon!). My new (soon to be ex) flattie, *Abby has been real gracious. No drama what so ever. She doesn't seem to want me to leave, but I got to do what I got to do. As for the buffoons, Sade and Bayo, they've promised to refund my money come month-end. I don't know how they are coping with each other, and frankly, I don't care.

Anyway, there's this guy who works in the same company that I work in. We met in my early days at the company and I noticed he had an interest in me. He took it upon himself to show me around and tell me one or two things about the people I would be working with. We kinda became friends. He was easy to talk to and he was one of the first friends I made there, so we used to hang out together often, during lunch break. He used to call me almost every hour just to find out how I was coping at the job and I felt he was such a nice guy. I told him early on though that I was off the market (so to speak), just in case he got any ideas that this was more than it was. He came to my office one faithful afternoon and said we should go for lunch that he had something really important to tell me. I wondered what it could be, but I just went with him anyway. We sat down to eat and we were discussing about random things when he suddenly said, 'Chickito, I'm falling for you, and I believe you feel the same.'

At first, I thought I didn't hear him well, so I said, 'sorry?'
He repeated himself and I was speechless for a few seconds. I knew our friendship was ruined forever. I just knew. I decided not to beat around the bush and come out straight. I told him once again, 'I have a fiance, and we are getting married soon. Besides I don't feel that way about you. You are just a good friend,' I concluded.

He smiled and said, 'I have seen the future, and we are meant to be.' What the hell did he mean? I looked at him carefully to be sure he was still sane. I felt sorry for him but didn't show it. I smiled back and said, 'Don't hold your breath, it's not going to happen.' After that incident, he started calling me more regularly, even after working hours. He wanted us to go on a date. I told him I didn't have a problem with that, if I could bring my fiance. He became angry and told me I was being childish. I don suffer! He stopped calling. The first time we met on the corridor after that, he walked by me like I wasn't there. I had a smile on my face, stopped to say hi, and he walked right on by. Fast-forward to this morning, a female colleague of mine came to my office, which was a rare occurrence as we were not really friends. She looked a bit unsure of how to say what she had to say.
'Em, Chickito, I don't know how to say this, but please don't take it the wrong way,' I was truly lost, I couldn't imagine what we had to talk about.
'*Sarah, go ahead. What is the problem?'
'*Toju told me that you guys were once em...very close, and you were in love with him. We are dating now and we are happy. But he told me that it's like you are not happy he's dating me, and you disrespect him when you see him.' *What da hell is this woman talking about? The murraf&%^+r! Oh no he didn't!!*

I was too overwhelmed for words. I sat there and listened to all she had to say. I wanted to walk her out of my office and give her some not so endearing words to tell her boyfriend. But I didn't. I was fuming for a while after she left, I mean, really fuming. But I realized that somehow, it didn't matter. The two of us (Toju and I) know the real truth between us. Blasted nigger! I'm sending thunder into his pants. He'll regret lying about me to his girlfriend. I don't even know how to express myself. *hiss*

As for those of you wondering why I haven't married Boo yet, it's because of our families. it's the Nigerian thing. The whole family wants to attend the wedding and we actually said we'd be ready by the middle of the year, but they've pleaded with us to postpone till the end of the year. Anyone who misses it will miss out as we are not ready to postpone it till next year. And it's not like they want to help us make it grand or anything like that o. I wonder why they want to be there! Just want to make us spend more money. My parents don't mind, if not I would become Mrs... come July. It's all good though.

I guess that's it for now. The other things I would have wanted to blog about are still unfolding, so let me let the tori complete first, then I go yarn.

I'm out.

'Feast' Your Eyes

2008-02-21T15:27:00.007+01:00

Hey folks. I'm at a meeting right now and I'm hungry and bored out of my mind. Some oyinbo people are giving a presentation to the staff of my unit and I was required to attend. We were given meat pie and juice during the lunch break- meat pie and juice!*&!#@- can you imagine? This is the worst meeting I've had to attend. So, here I am sitting with my laptop, looking attentive and 'taking notes' (meaning I'm browsing). At a point I knew I'd fall asleep and to prevent embarrassing myself, I decided to do something constructive. I looked for pictures of food (I love food) and since I haven't eaten all afternoon, this is probably the closest I'll get to food, before I get home.

Here are the pictures. Enjoy!

Beans and Plantain

Jollof Rice

Pounded Yam an Egusi Soup

Goat Meat Peppersoup

Pounded Yam and Ogbonor Soup with assorted meat.

Check out the vegetable soup right there in the middle!

I don't feel sleepy anymore. Now I am really hungry. Let me get back to the meeting jare.
I'm out!

Happenings

2008-02-19T09:14:00.003+01:00

I finally moved out of Boo's house on Sunday after just one week. I was really sad to leave, but I had to. A friend of mine called me to find out how I was doing and we got together on Friday Night last week, after work. I told her about everything that had been happening, and she offered to let me stay at her place until I could get my own place, and I agreed. I had earlier decided not to ask any of my friends in Abuja for such favors (none of my close girl friends stay in Abuja), but since she offered, I accepted. I've already seen one or two places that suit me just fine, but alot of people are also eyeing the apartments so it's now down to 'let the best man win'!

I have told Sade and Bayo (My former flatmate and her fiance) that I wouldn't be returning. Sade begged me not to just leave like that. I just told her to discuss with Bayo, so that they could come up with my remaining rent money by the end of the month. I hope I don't have to fight them to collect it.

Boo begged me not to leave and I almost changed my mind. But I just had to make him understand my position and he did although he wasn't too happy about it. My poor baby. I feel so sorry for him. lol. Anyway, my new and temporary roommate is Abby. We met in school and have kept in touch ever since, even if we are not the closest of friends. She comes across as a likable and sweet soul and I think we will get along just fine. The house is a lot smaller than my former flat and is a one-bedroom apartment, so we have to share the room and bathroom. But it's not so bad. I had to stock up on food and other things so that I won't be staying for free.

That's it for now folks. Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement, advice and funny jokes (y'all know yourselves). It is truly appreciated.

I'm out. Have a wonderful day!

Update

2008-02-13T10:09:00.005+01:00

Last Friday
Got home from the office at about 7:10pm. Was in a good mood until I entered my flat and saw my flattie, Sade and her fiance, Bayo sitting in the living room. They looked like someone had died. I wished I had invisible powers at that time, so that I could sneak in unnoticed. I greeted them. Bayo mumbled something back, Sade just sat begging me with her eyes. The girl I used to know was no more. Maybe she never existed. I went into my room and as soon as I sat on my bed, I heard a quiet knock. It was Bayo.

'Chickito, please join us in the living room when you are done. It's important,' it was obvious that something was wrong. Anyway, I didn't bother to change my clothes. Went out immediately.

'What's up?' I asked.

'It has come to my knowledge that you've been helping Sade to entertain her other boyfriend.You girls have been making a fool of me. I agreed to allow you stay here because I believed you were decent.' I thought I was going to loose it there and then. See this mumu o. You no fit keep your Madam, you dey blame me. Na me go help you service am? Besides, I'm not just 'staying here', I'm paying rent! But instead, I sat mute and let him say his mind.

'Duke is a guy that Sade f****d before we got together and when we initially started seeing each other. She promised she'd stop seeing him, and I believed her. She is a bitch. But you, Chickito, I thought you'd tell me if she was up to something. I'm so disappointed. I bet you bring in men as well, and I'll have to tell Boo. You two are one of a kind. At least before he marries you, let him know what he is getting himself into. Let him know you are a little prostitute!' I totally lost it then and I'm still asking God to forgive me for saying the things that I did.

'It is your mother that is a prostitute, you bastard son of a nobody. How dare you? Am I your private detective? Are you not both old enough to carry on maturely? If she's seeing another man, how is that my concern? You are obviously not man enough to do her justice, that's why she went for a more virile man to give her what she needed. Shame on you. Pig!'

'Please stop.' Sade managed to mutter, but she was trembling by this time, looking from me to Bayo. She knew there was no easy way out of this one. Bayo was enraged and I could swear he would hit me. But he held himself back. I remember looking so defiant an thinking to myself, 'If them born you well, touch me.'

There was an uneasy quiet at this time. And I decided it was time to take my leave. I went into my room and called Boo. He was at a meeting, but told me to go wait for him at home. I stormed out of the house banging the door behind me. I sat in my car for a while to calm down and when I was OK, I drove out from the parking lot to Boo's house.

I was making dinner for myself when Boo got home and boy was I glad to see him. We talked in the kitchen and he said we could go get my things in the morning. I gave him a great big hug because at the time I thought it was a good idea. But now, I'm thinking, should I have allowed them run me out? After all my rent hadn't expired. We ate dinner and it felt sooo good being with Boo like that. We cuddled on the couch and everything felt so right. That was the first night. We slept in separate bedrooms.

Last Saturday
Went to my house early in the morning to get my things. Boo went with me, in case things got out of hand. The house was empty, so I was able to pack most of my things without drama. We spent the rest of the day together running errands. Went to watch a movie in the evening. By the time we got back, I was truly fagged out. We slept in separate bedrooms on the second night.

Sunday
We went to church in the morning and spent the rest of the day resting at his crib. I hadn't heard from either Sade or Bayo and couldn't care less. I guess Bayo had changed his mind about telling Boo that I wasn't that innocent. *Shrug*. What ever! I was having a blast and didn't care about the rest of the world. That night however, *clears throat*, I slept with Boo. OK, not as in sex oh, pullleease! I mean on the same bed. We were watching TV on the bed. I was all set to sleep. Wore baggy pyjamas, so I don't temp the poor guy. Nothing prepared me for the way he looked at me though. I was lying with my head at the foot of the bed and he was lying with his head in the opposite direction. Something made me turn toward him for a moment and I caught him starring at me with hungry eyes. We kiss and stuff once in a while, but nothing too heavy. But this time the way he rushed my lips en, like a dying man sucking on a few drops of water in a bid to save his life! I could feel my own body tense up. At that moment, I knew that I wouldn't sleep in my own room. I can't remember the exact sequence of things, but I remember that after a while, he reluctantly pulled himself away from me. I was only too glad, because I knew I might not have been able to stop myself. We continued watching the film and I dozed off. He gently woke me up on Monday morning to get ready for work.

There's a lot of pent up sexual tension in the air at the moment. And I'm wondering if being with him in the same house is a good idea. I know he would never jump me, but body no be fire wood. I am looking for another place. But I'm also thinking of going back to my flat and continuing my search from there. I love his company and all that, but if I'm to keep up with my 'no marriage, no sex' stand then I know this is not a healthy situation. But how do I return to that house? I don't think I can't take any more drama. I am truly fed up.

So my pipo, this is what has been happening. I hope to find a place by next week sha, by the grace of God. If I don't, I just might move back to my flat and manage till my rent expires in May. *cringe*. Got to go now though. I have a deadline at work. Hope to hang out with y'all at your blogs, so gimme a shout out.

I'm out.

Pre-Update

2008-02-12T15:26:00.000+01:00

My weekend was really crappy. Got to work on Monday feeling groggy and reluctant to work. I'm sorry I haven't updated. Will try to do a proper update tomorrow. I've moved out from my place to Boo's house. Not sure if this is not going from frying pan to fire. My former flattie and her fiance have issues to work out and I don't want to be caught in the cross fire. Moving was hectic, and I'm still trying to recover. Got to go now. I pray I have the energy tomorrow, to give a blow by blow account of everything going on at the moment.

Holla y'all. I'm out.

Posing!

2008-02-06T16:05:00.000+01:00

Yesterday during my lunch hour, I went to one new joint not so close to my office to eat, so I had to take my car. The food men, was yummy. I was confused about what to eat because there were so many mouth watering choices on display. There was ofada rice with the ofada source, amala and ewedu, pounded yam with egusi and dry fish, okro, efo, peppered snails, bush meat, beans and dodo, gbogbo e. Name it, they had it. I was walking back and forth trying to make up my mind on what to eat, like a little child let loose in a candy shop. I didn't know one guy just dey corner dey scope me. Finally I chose to eat amala and ewedu, with assorted meat (I know y'all are salivating!). I paid for my food and sat down to eat. My lunch hour is precious to me and I do not appreciate any intrusion from the outside world. As soon as I sat down, the stranger walked up to my table with his own tray and asked if the other seat was vacant. He was well dressed and good looking. I told him it was but I was a bit irritated he chose my table, when there were other empty tables around. He sat down and here is how things went down.

Him: Hi, my name is Kelly. Saw you from across the room. Hope you don't mind my asking for your company over lunch?
Me: *Chewing a piece of meat, looking at my food and hoping he'll take the hint*
Him: You are?
Me:*Grumpily* I don't talk to strangers.
Him: *laughing* She's funny as well as beautiful.
Me: If you don't mind, I'm trying to eat my lunch in peace.
Him:Ok, don't want to interrupt your lunch (was relieved that he'd be leaving, but he continued) I'll just sit here then.
Me: Suit yourself.
Him: I work in ABC Co. What university do you attend?
(See me o! university ke? I had removed my jacket and was wearing a shirt and pair of trousers. I had no idea that I was looking like a school chick!! So I decided to play along. I don't know why. I could be naughty like that sometimes.)
Me: Why do you want to know?
Him: I'm curious about you. I'm hoping that we could be friends. *bla bla bla...*
He was trying to impress me. He called the name of some big shots and said that they were his clients. He said all kinds of things and I was really amused. I let him just run his mouth until he was satisfied. I wondered why he was 'posing'. He even called the biggest boy in my company and said they were friends. I almost burst out laughing, but continued to looked awed. That seemed to inspire him some.

Lunch was over and I said it was time for me to leave. I learnt we were going in the same direction. We got outside and he began fumbling for his wallet and saying something about paying for my taxi fare as a big boy! He said he was planning to buy one very expensive car soon and that it cost millions. That was almost my undoing! I told him not to worry, that I drove my car and that I could drop him off at work as we were going in the same direction. He almost entered into the ground. He wanted to refuse the offer, but I convinced him otherwise. Besides, the Abuja sun these days no be small. We got into my car and he saw my ID card. When he saw the company I worked with, he felt really small. If he had known, he would have just been himself, instead of trying to be someone else. After he regained his composure, he asked me when I finished school, to be working in a place like that and whether I could hook him up to get a job there as well. I didn't want to remind him that he said he knew my oga. *hiss*. Pathetic.

I just wonder why some people like posing. It's better to be yourself and let people decide if they like you based on who you really are and not based on a lie. We stand to gain nothing from pretense but embarrassment! Poor Kelly. Hope he learned a valuable lesson, although I seriously doubt it. He seemed like a pro, like he'd been doing it for a long time. I wonder if any chick ever fell for it!

Got to go now. Hope to be back tomorrow.
I'm out.

The Grass Is Always Greener at the Other side

2008-02-04T11:25:00.000+01:00

I visited a friend over the weekend, and she really had alot to talk about. She complained bitterly about her relationship with the guy she intends to marry. Let's call her Mary. Mary is scared that she could be making the wrong choice. She loves Mark, her fiance, but feels the problems they have in their relationship are overwhelming. Mary said she wished her relationship could be like mine.
She was like, 'You guys have respect for each other. You never fight, at least not in public. It's obvious that he adores you. He doesn't hassle you for sex, he is willing to wait. He will do anything for you. I wish Mark and I were like you guys. Sometimes, I think I love him more than he loves me.'

This revelation was a shocker to me. She always struck me as someone who had a solid relationship with her man. They have been dating since they were in school, but what she said got me thinking. Is my relationship really perfect? Yes, Boo loves me and all that, he is a real catch too and I feel blessed to have him, but we certainly gat major issues.

I have thought about quitting many times before. I have come to terms with the fact that we will not always see eye to eye about everything. We compliment each other though. I am the 'firebrand' and Boo is more laid back, not taking things too seriously. When we have a fight, he is quick to forgive no matter who the offender is. I like to make trouble, especially if I know I'm right. But our biggest issue is not that we disagree alot. It's his family. His mom just doesn't like me. His sisters too seem not to like me, and he has six of them! He is the only boy and the last child, so he is seriously doted on. How he turned out not to be a spoiled brat is still a mystery to me. Nobody knows that I sometimes seriously consider leaving him because of his Mom. The woman na real terrorist. She is a 'society' woman, very light skinned and pretty. I'm dark skinned so she doesn't think I'm pretty enough for her son. I just tire sometimes. I don't know who she thinks she is. I don't want to have any wahala with his family. Only his dad seems to genuinely like me...Most times I don't give a hoot what they think. Thank God Boo always stands up for me and tells them to butt out, but....I wish things were different. Can't really go into all the details.

Just thinking about the whole thing pisses me off. So when people tell me they want to be like me, I shake my head and tell them if they only knew. I guess that's life. You can't have it all. God puts some stumbling blocks on our way, so we'll always have a reason to come back to him.

Yeah, I know, not a very interesting topic. But this has been on my mind, so, there.

I'm out.

Matters Arising

2008-01-29T12:35:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was really hectic for me. I'm all woozy at the office and I have a pile to attend to, but I still can not resist the tempting pull of blogsville.

I got home by 7:00pm from the office last night and wandered straight into the kitchen. The house was unusually quiet. I didn't bother to check if my flatmate was home. I microwaved a plate of jollof rice and chicken that I found in the fridge and ate it in the kitchen. I did all this before I even changed my clothes. I washed my plate and went to my room. I took off my clothes and lay down on my bed. I told myself that I would nap for 10 minutes and get up to shower and go see Boo. We had a date for 8:00pm. I was to meet him at the Hilton for a party which the company where he works was organizing. I had everything all planned out and just needed to snooze for a bit. But as it turned out, I slept on until I heard the sounds of a commotion from somewhere deep within my subconscious mind..what da?

'Chickito please let Duke stay in your bathroom! Bayo will kill me today,' my flatmate Sade was saying from far, far away... then I realized it wasn't so far away, but very close. I was so confused. What is going on? I thought to myself? Then it started coming together. I jumped out of bed just as Sade was switching on the lights and I was stark naked. Of course I wouldn't have minded if it was just both of us but this familiar stranger was standing right in front of my bed. (I met Duke about a week ago under some shady circumstances)

'Ah Sade,' was all I could say before quickly reaching for my night shirt under my pillow. By this time I was raving mad. I was fuming, but I kept my calm. Then I heard something else. This time, the noise seemed to be coming from the front door.

'Open this door before I break it down,' someone bellowed. I couldn't quite make out who it was.
'Quick Chickito, hide Duke, let me go and open the door for Bayo. (Bayo is her fiance.) He can't see Duke here,' her eyes were pleading as she ushered the guy into my bathroom.
I was past listening to her at this point, I pulled on a pair of jeans trousers and proceeded to walk out of my room. By this time Sade was on her knees, begging.

'Please don't let Bayo know about Duke, I will make it up to you, please,' she wailed. I couldn't pity her, but I was beyond speaking. I heard my phone ringing, it was my Boo's special ringtone, so I went back toward my bed to get the phone. I glanced at the clock, the time was past midnight. O my God, my date with Boo. Oh no, I moaned softly to myself. I picked up the phone to answer it. More banging on the door.

I answered the phone, 'Hello dear, I'm so sorry, I slept off. Let me call you back...' I was cut off.
'Thank God you are alright. Now come and open the bloody door,' he said in a very harsh tone. He had never spoken to me with that tone of voice before.
'Oh, are you the one at the door? I will be right there.' The line went dead before I finished talking.

As soon as I opened the door, Boo charged in. 'What on earth is going on here?' The whole situation was so funny, but I dared not laugh. 'I have been calling you for ever, but you have refused to answer my calls,' he said.
'Let me explain. I slept off because I was really tired. I didn't realize it was so late. I swear baby, I was so gone, that I didn't even hear my phone ring,' it occurred to me that I heard some kind of melody in my dreams. It sounded like some annoying program on TV. I tried switching off the TV several times in my dream. Anyway... 'I'm so sorry babe, calm down. Come, let's sit down and talk,' I patted the space beside me on the couch and he began walking toward me, when this Duke fellow burst out of my room, looking like one criminal. I had almost forgotten his presence. I turned to Boo to try to explain but he had already gone ballistic. I could see the look in his eyes, but he didn't say a word.

Duke rushed past us and on his was out of the flat, said, 'Hey bro, it's not what you think.'
With that, he was gone. The house was so quiet, like the eye of a storm, then all hell broke loose. To cut the long story short, I was finally able to calm Boo down and explain what had just taken place. Sade had quietly and shamefacedly entered her room.I told him that I was as confused as he was about the Duke fellow. He told me that I must leave that house even if it meant forfeiting the remaining part of my rent money. The one that really made him mad was that this Duke guy had seen my nakedness, what he hadn't been so privileged to preview. He wanted to call Sade out, but I talked him out of it. Since she didn't think now was the time to come out and explain herself (or better still, apologize!), I just told him i would handle it.

We talked for a while before he went home. I promised him that we'll spend quality time together today. It was 1:30am when he finally left. I couldn't sleep again till past 4:00am this morning. Just stayed awake and watched E! Sade had vanished into thin air. Didn't hear a sound from her room when I was getting ready for work by 6:00am. Her room lights were switched off. I didn't bother going in to ask her anything. I want her to stew a bit, wondering if I'll tell her fiance. I thought the whole saga was over. She promised she'd tell me about him the first time he slept over but never did. See me see wahala o!

Bad Belle in Blogsville

2008-01-28T10:39:00.000+01:00

Was just reading through 36's blog and I'm alarmed at what blogsville is turning into. Many of us come here because we want to express ourselves concerning issues that affect us. Some bad belle people just come in and spread their venom. Who asked them? The girl has been going through some stuff lately and has been pouring out her heart here. I thought this place was supposed to be therapeutic? I guess her 'friends' have found her blog and are leaving really nasty comments there. I was so angry when I read some of the comments. I am not happy at all. Now she is leaving. Haters please, you people either put up or shut up. Bloody cowards!

I know I'm just ranting, but I just dey vex. Trying to let off some steam. There! Pay me no mind.

I'm out

Let's Talk About Sex

2008-01-23T16:24:00.000+01:00

I've been quite pre-occupied with thoughts of sex for a while now. Everyone I know seems to have done it, is doing it or has plans to do it soon. I've heard different stories that have really roused my curiosity. All the guys that I've spoken with about sex, say they find it extremely pleasurable, but that's not always the case with women.

A very good friend of mine told me that she had sex for the first time at eighteen. She said that the first time was really uncomfortable and clumsy. But now she finds it really mind blowing, although it took her one whole year, to get comfortable enough to start enjoying it and now even climaxes before her boyfriend. Another girl told me she has never enjoyed it and she cried and cried the first time it happened. Someone even likened her first time to the feeling of driving a stick forcefully up her nose! The mixed reviews has got me all worried. I have always dreamed that my wedding night will be magical, with me wearing some really sexy lingerie for my man. But I'm told not to expect too much and I'm disappointed already. Some say that the men are just out to get some, and that after they are done, they leave the woman wanting! I have spoken to my Boo about this and he assures me of a pleasurable experience, even though he is a novice himself!

On the other hand, the guys had really nice stories about sex. Didn't hear any serious complaints, although one lamented that he wished his chick would be more adventurous in bed. He said she never let him go down on her (say what? *cringe*) nor would she go down on him ( ok, that's where I draw the line! For real?). Some of the guys also had the fantasy of doing it in every room of the house, in the car, at the park, at the office, on the plane (not realistic!). I see all this stuff in movies, but I wonder if these positions are comfortable or even doable not to talk of enjoyable. Another recurring fantasy among the men, was having sex in a place where the possibility of getting caught was high.

I want to know how a woman can enjoy sex. I don't want to ever have to fake.. um.. you know. I guess what I'm trying to do is get some real people up in here to break it down for me. I've read books, but it's all the same very academic stuff. Someone suggested I watch porn, but hell no, it hasn't gotten to that. I have even taken a mirror and looked at myself. The hole is so tiny and I wonder if a cotton bud can pass through, let alone a man's organ (It's so hard for me to type the real names, *blinks shyly*). Please people talk to me.

People are never what they seem

2008-01-22T13:09:00.000+01:00

Still trying to recover from the events that occured last night at my flat. I live in a two bedroom flat with my friend/colleague. She is such a sweet girl. Her fiance owns the place, but she decided she needed to stay with a female until after they got married. I applauded her decision and was really happy. She told me she had had sex with him but wants to turn over a new leaf. No sex before marriage and I commended her. I was really impressed. Her fiance stays not too far away from us, so we get to see him almost every day. And he is a real correct guy. On Monday evening, he came to the house but he had to leave early because he had an early morning meeting for Tuesday. Meanwhile, I had noticed she had been making some weird calls all evening. As soon as her fiance, *Bayo left, she called someone. In less than ten minutes there was a knock on the door. I answered and this really tall and handsome guy was standing there. I was sure he had the wrong house as I had never seen him before.

'Hello,' his voice was smooth, deep and very sexy. Reminded me of that guy in boyz-II-men. Wetin be that im name? Anyway, he continued. 'Is *Sade in?' very smooth indeed.

I was just about to say, 'Sorry, wrong address,' and shut the door, when I realized he was indeed in the right place.

'Er..,' I thought for a moment, then called out, 'Sade, Sade...visitor for you.'

She was beside me faster than the speed of light. 'Come in Duke,' I stepped aside. They hugged each other like old friends that hadn't been in touch in a while(ok, that's the interpretation I chose to see. It was more like I've missed your body or something down those lines.) Which one be my own? I entered my room jejely and closed my door. Turned on the TV and tried to get ready for work the next day. I ironed my clothes, cleaned my shoes, picked out my makeup (I'm meticulous like that!), and all those other little things. When I was done, I lay on my bed to watch TV. I started to yawn. I heard their voices very loud from the sitting room. Was waiting for him to leave so we could lock up for the night. Besides, I wanted to change the TV channel from the living room and couldn't dare venture out because I was naked and didn't want to start wearing clothes again and I also needed some quiet. This was like 11:30pm and they were still laughing very loudly. I was beginning to wonder. But, hmm, which one be my own?

I must have dozed off, as the next thing I heard was a tap on my door. Sade entered. 'Sorry dear, you don sleep?'

'Duh! You see time? Abeg when is your friend leaving?'

'That's what I came to talk to you about. He's not leaving. He's spending the night.' Warning bells went off in my head. We have a "no boys after 12 midnight" rule. Her idea.

'And why is that?' I asked.

'He is stranded. The person he was supposed to stay with tonight just called to inform him that it won't be possible again.' Somehow I knew this was a lie. The plan had probably been for him to sleep over all along. I mean, who called by- I glanced at the wall clock - 11:50pm, to tell their guest that accommodation was no longer available? I eyed her warily. She doesn't lie to me usually, so I relaxed and decided to trust her.

'Fine. It's not like I can say no. I no be devil. By the way. Who is he and how did you guys meet? You didn't even introduce us!'

'Don't worry, will give you the full gist tomorrow,' she said. 'In the mean time, let me go prepare the couch for him,' She said and rushed off.

Fast forward - 2:00am. I woke up and needed to drink water. I got up. Her room is opposite mine. Her door is permanently ajar due to some carpentry malfunctions. I went to the kitchen to get the glass of water and return to my room. Nothing prepared me for what I heard when I approached my door. I heard low groans and moans. I almost dropped my glass. I was conufsed and went back to the kitchen area. As I passed the living room, I realized that Duke had disappeared. It started to come together. AHHH. I have never heard these sounds for real o, except in movies. I moved closer to the door. There was no mistaking the fact that they were having sex. This girl na wa o. I went back to my room. Those two were oblivious to the outside world. Couldn't sleep for a while after that.

I didn't say anything to her about it this morning. The guy had mysteriously appeared on the couch by 6:00am. He was sound asleep when I passed, obviously spent from their midnight sexcapade! But she on the other hand was so full of life, chatting away like she hadn't a care in the world. Na wa o.

I really don't know what else to say. And I thought I had problems! I guess I'd better mind my business.

I'm out.

Vanity upon vanity

2008-01-21T10:07:00.000+01:00

I've not been here in a while and it seems like an eternity! So much is happening around blogsville..yeah been doing my rounds.

On Friday last week, I wore this new traditional dress I just made, to work. I knew I looked good, didn't need nobody to tell me. I just discovered this new tailor in Abuja and I'm so glad I did. Her prices are high, but she is really good. So, back to Friday. There is this chick *Blacky from my office. She's good looking, but I discovered she's always trying to size me up, not confident in her own beauty, needing to put others down to feel better about herself. Below are some sample questions that she's most likely to ask me should we meet during the course of a work day:
"Chickito, I like your shoes. Where did you get them?"
"How much did your jacket cost?"
"Is that an authentic Gucci bag? If you tell me how much you got it, I'll know. The real ones are really expensive. Could be a nice knock off!"
"That can't possibly be real diamond studs on your ears!" Which one be her own sef?

Most of my colleagues and I are like family and I guess Blacky wants to be accepted by all means so she goes about trying to act like she knows what's up, but ends up alienating herself even more. But the one she really does that I can never understand is the way she copies me. She'll never say she likes my hairdo, but a week after I do a new hair do, she'll go and have hers done. At first, I thought it was just coincidence, but it kept on happening. As of this morning, she's sporting a long black weave! If you remember, that's what I have on at the moment!! When I told another colleague of ours, she asked me to ignore her and feel flattered that she wants to be like me. Anyway, Last Friday, I had a shawl over my beautiful dress (It does get painfully cold at the office) when she walked into my office. I wanted her to see my dress and eat her eyes out, but atlas, I was covered. Damn.. I knew if I suddenly removed the shawl, it would've been obvious that I was showing off. She came in with some breakfast and announced that she was going down the hall from my office to eat and invited me to come along. She always did this and I always politely rejected the offer, but that day, I saw it as my chance to show her my dress as i felt I won't have another opportunity , because her office is on another floor of the building). I know, it's terribly childish and vain, but I just couldn't resist. As I got up from my chair I slowly dropped my shawl 'mistakenly' and walked past her. Her mouth almost fell open. I could see she loved the dress, but hated me for having it. She didn't say a word. I didn't mind. As we walked down the hall, all the guys we passed complimented me and she was really fuming. We got to the room and she told me we were having moi moi and ijebu garri (Ok, she went to one Oga's office to collect the garri. The guy is a typical Yoruba man, and can't do without his Ijebu Garri). I ate just a little moi moi. My mission was accomplished. i thanked her and went back to my office. I really still can't believe I did that. I'm not usually that shallow, but this home girl is getting sick of Blacky's attitude.

And to other gist, I had the weekend to think and sort myself out. Boo traveled and I was able to break my emotional thingy with Tom. Told him to get lost in no uncertain terms. He was so angry, I thought he would force himself on me to prove I wanted him. I just prayed for God's help and I got it. I don't think he'll be calling me back. I am content and I can look forward to my future with confidence. Thanks to all of you for your support through the difficult time.

I'm out

My Ex has come back to hunt me! 2

2008-01-17T08:14:00.000+01:00

We went for dinner and saw a movie afterwards. I can't even remember how the chinese food tasted or what we talked about. My heart was just beating. We got back to my place and after dropping me, he refused to leave. He said he wasn't coming in but begged me to sit with him in the car, that he won't be held responsible if he tried to get down with me. I agreed to stay in the car, because I wasn't sure if I'd stop him if he tried anything.

'So my darling,' he asked, 'Are you really happy with Boo? Just say the word and we'll start arranging the traditional wedding tonight. I'll call your dad, by the way how is he doing? I'll also call my family, you know they've always loved you. My mum has never liked any of the other girls I've taken home. My sister keeps rubbing it in that I was a fool to let you go.....' On and on he went about how badly he wanted us to rekindle the old flame that burned between us. The bad thing is, I'd wanted to hear these words so long ago. Talk about the right thing at the wrong time!

Now Boo and Tom know each other. Boo was our senior in the university. At that time in school, he was dating somebody else and I never even thought anything would ever happen between us. You know how it is, you just find yourselves in the same place and you begin to see what you never did before. After Boo broke up with his then girlfriend, he was inconsolable. I even felt sorry for him and wished I had a guy that would be inconsolable if he ever lost me. I stayed of guys for a while until I finished school (except for a brief stint with a much older friend of Tom and I, which is another story in itself.) I and Boo met again later at church. He just started getting interested in me but I wasn't interested at all. I just felf he probably was still hung up on his girlfriend. He convinced me that he wasn't. So I started to examine him very well. He was everything a girl wants (at least, this girl). And after a while, I agreed to date him. He is the perfect gentleman. Treats me like a queen, is always thoughtful, caring and kind. He would make a wonderful husband and father. Sparks fly between us, but it's just not like with Tom. I hate to compare but it's the truth. He is what I need but Tom is what I seem to want.

Anyway, back to that night. Tom said if not that he knew Boo, he would openly declare war and then the best man would win. But as Boo is someone he always admired and looked up to, he would hold his peace for now, giving me time to make up my mind. He finally left, but not before he said those magical words, 'I love you.' Heyyyy, na me be dis? I got inside my house by 11pm an checked my phone. It had been on silent mode since. There were 17 missed calls from Boo. It was then I remembered him. I called back immediately. He was so relieved. 'Baby, I was going mad with worry. What happened? Are you OK? You didn't call all evening.' It wasn't even an accusation. 'Which kind man be dis?' I thought to myself. I knew the only way that I could leave him was if we had a serious fight. We've never really had one because he hardly ever lost his cool, no matter how much I pushed him, and boy do I push him.

'What, monitoring me now are we? So because you are not in town now you want to keep an eye on me en? You don't own me o, I can choose not to pick the phone if I want.' I said this to try and pick a fight.
'Ah babe, not so. I'm not monitoring you and you know it. I was just worried. Anyway, what have you been up to? I wish I could be with you tomorrow. I miss you too much, but I can't leave here till the 28th.' I could hear the longing in his voice. I felt he wasn't reacting how I wanted, so I pushed him a little more.
'No problem at all, take your time at home. Greet everyone for me o,' was all I said.
He laughed. Ah, I thought to myself wetin funny, vex na! 'As if you are not missing me! My naughty baby. Sleep well dear. Will talk to you tomorrow. I love you.'

I just said 'Bye,' and hung up. Whatever. I went to bed and was thinking about Tom and I couldn't sleep. What to do, what to do. I thought I would run crazy. I got through the night and woke up with Tom on my mind, couldn't pray, couldn't do anything. We hung out on Christmas day and tried to catch up on old times. Tom has been calling me even now that Boo is back in town. I just told Boo he's been transferred to Abuja and he was so excited. He hadn't seen him in a while. I asked Boo if he felt threatened by my Ex's presence and he said he didn't have an issue with that at all. He said if his own ex came to town he knows it wouldn't make a difference to him. Besides, he trusts me and would never doubt me. Our wedding is for the end of the year. But how can I marry him if my ex is still wooing me and I can't tell him convincingly, to back off? This is a recipe for disaster.

My Ex has come back to hunt me!

2008-01-15T08:51:00.000+01:00

My Pipo,
I've been thinking and thinking and then thinking some more and my brain is aching from it all. I was dating this guy *Tom way back in school in 2002. We broke up after one year, but I can say he was my first true love. I loved him to bits. As kids, of course we were not thinking marriage (I was, but never told him so). We told the pastor of our school fellowship and he started asking our plans for the future. He pour sand sand for my garri. I was quick to point out we were just dating and having a good time. He said we should seriously consider the future and if marriage was not in the picture somewhere, we should break it off. Of course the poor boy was not thinking marriage, for God's sake we were just both 20! He got cold feet and I sensed his uncertainty, so I broke it off. It was really difficult for me. I wanted him to realize that he couldn't do without me and come begging me to come back. It never happened. We just remained friends and the worst part of it was we had to see each other almost everyday during one fellowship activity or the other. I lost a lot of weight and developed a close friendship with an older male friend of ours which helped me get through the whole thing. I tried to make him jealous (the subject for another post), but nothing worked. Eventually, I gave up and learned to live with my aching heart and put it all behind me after I left school in 2004.

The thing is, I never completely got over him. Now he is in Abuja. The company he works for transferred him from Lagos. He called me to tell me. On hearing his voice alone, my heart fluttered. He asked if we could hang out. This was during the holiday period and my boo travelled out of town to visit family. I really didn't know he still had this effect on me. This is really crazy. I agreed to meet with him. I convinced myself that it was no biggie. If I refused it would be as if I.... I don't have any idea what I thought. He came to my house on Christmas eve. I heard his knock by 7:10pm. Why my heart was racing as fast as it was I had no idea. I opened the door and let him in, he was looking yummy. I was shaking like jelly. I didn't realize how much I had missed him. It had been 3 years. All thought of my boo had flown out of the window. Tom reached out and gave me a hug, and held me for a little longer. I pulled away before I disgraced myself there.

I suggested we leave immediately so we didn't miss our movie. He agreed but not after asking for a glass of water. While he was sipping, he was staring at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.
"You have changed a bit," he said quietly
"You too," was all I could manage. I wondered what happened to my tongue.
"I look er,matured," he joked. "But you are even more beautiful."
I just smiled. I didn't trust myself to reply. I couldn't believe he was sitting in my living room. I don't really expect you guys to understand. I used to adore him, worship him even. It was that intense. It is a wonder I never had sex with him, but God knows I considered it.
"I missed you," he blurted out. "I don't know how I stayed away for 3 years. I have really missed you Angel." He called me the nickname he used to call me then.
Make una see me o. Why now when I am in a secure relationship? My boo is crazy about me and i know it. I could never hurt him, but with this guy around, yawa dey o.
I will complete the whole story tomorrow. I have to get back to work. Please bear with me.

In other happenings, both Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie (of simple life) have giving birth to a baby boy and girl respectively. This happened over the weekend. This is wishing them all the best.

I'm out.

Stuff

2008-01-14T17:41:00.000+01:00

Today, I couldn't make it as soon as I thought I would to give you guys the gist. My boss who was on leave for 3 weeks is back in the office and is as mean as ever. The guy too dey yarn and it's difficult being the only female on my team and even on my floor. I constantly have to work harder than others to prove myself.

Well let me see what I can do before I run off for my umpteenth meeting today. My boo is 'toomush'. Concerning that *Chi-chi girl who has been texting him, he called me yesterday and advised me to be weary of her. He said that she didn't seem like an honest person to him and that I should watch my back. When I asked him why he was suspicious, he said to trust him and I do. So I've decided to pretend like I didn't see the texts she has been sending. And yes, I did check his sent folder... he expressed disgust that she would even think of such a thing. But he was a gentle man about it. Abeg, my 'baybay toomush'.

As for my hair,yep, I did it. If you are in Abuja and you see someone sporting a long black weave (and I do look cute), and driving honda accord 2002 model, it could just be me. That guy from work saw me during our morning meeting today and told me I looked stunning.

Got to run now. The boss man has called twice already. I will update tomorrow morning, I promise. Take care all and thanks for not only stopping by but also for taking the time to comment...Muahhh!

I'm out.

Story Story....

2008-01-11T16:23:00.000+01:00

I was looking through my boyfriend's phone two days ago. It's not something I usually do but this time we were both expecting his mom to send an address we needed. When his phone rang, expecting it to be his mom's text, I was surprised to see a text from a girl named *Chi-chi. I read it, and I couldn't believe what I was reading. My 'friend' who just came back from Obodo oyinbo was toasting my bobo. See me see wahala. I looked through the message list and discovered that this was not the first message she has sent in the space of the 1 month she's been around.
This story is still developing... I haven't asked my bobo about it and he hasn't said anything. Hmm, I smell rat o.

Thank God it's Friday. I can go and fix my hair, finally, tomorrow! I've been carrying my braids since before Christmas. That's not such a long time abi, but for me it is. I sweat a lot on my scalp so I have to change my 'do' every couple of weeks. I thought I could carry it for one more week, but an encounter with my senior colleague in the office made me change my mind. Nor be im this guy enter my office, come dey near my desk. I was sitting and concentrating so hard in front of my laptop, and he probably thought I was working seriously doing office stuff. I was looking at Afrobabe's blog and trying so hard not to laugh (she sure has some crazy pictures there) when the guy entered my office. I immediately tried to minimize the page and open something work-related, for where? The mouse chose that time not to respond. Damn it, he was getting closer. I quickly stood up as if to greet him properly and advanced toward him. I really didn't know what I was going to do when I got to him. On a good day, when he enters my office like that, I barely mumble something resembling a greeting and I usually don't bother to look up. When I got close to him, for some weird reason, he opened his arms "..what da..." I was trying to make sense of his gesture. Then he hugged me. I wasn't expecting that! He thought I stood up to hug him.
Then he said, " Chickito, hope you plan to do your hair tomorrow."
"Why?" I asked, innocent me.
"It smells, well, kind of funky," he was obviously embarrassed. I just smiled.
At least he didn't see what was on my PC screen.
When I got back to my sit, the page had finally minimized. A little to late if you as me. At at least he didn't get to see those wicked pictures.

I'm going home now. Had a really stressful day...yeah right...stalking your blogs. This thing is getting addictive o. Una no say na so e go be. But I'm loving it. Be back on Monday. Be sure to check back then. Gist dey.

Lovely weekend all. I'm out.

Stuff

2008-01-10T13:18:00.000+01:00

Anyone remember Monica, from the "Don't Take It Personal" fame? (I grew up listening to such sounds!) She gave birth to a baby boy on Tuesday afternoon. I wasn't even aware that she was pregnant. According to reports, she was in the studio recording her new album even up until late into her pregnancy. I am happy for her and wish her every happiness. I hope her new album does much better than the previous one. I love her music. But she's beginning to look em...'mature' o! I thought she was like 27! Still love her though.

Moving on to not so happy news, I just heard that Timi Dakolo, winner of West African Idol, that aired on MNET, and ended on May 26, 2007 at the home of Idols, Planet One, Lagos, Nigeria, was shot in the head by unknown men on the 1st of January 2008! I got the information from This Page . I'm still hoping it's a rumor..you know, false alarm. What is Nigeria coming to? According to reports,it happened in Port-harcourt, inside his hotel room. Though he sustained injuries from the incident, he is alive and receiving treatment. I thank God. This is wishing Timi speedy recovery.

OK, this one na just amebo. I love Oprah Winfrey so much. I always watch her shows if I get home from work early enough. I love the way she inspires people especially women. Looking at where she's coming from and where she is now, I am convinced that I too, can achieve anything that I set my mind to...including loosing weight! I'm not overweight, but I don't exactly look like those little things I see on E! LOL (You know the saying, "You can never be too rich or too thin!") I stay in a flat with a colleague/friend of mine. Everything we do now is geared to helping us loose weight...and you need to see us. We go for aerobic classes, but our instructor doesn't really take us serious because he has other women that really need the attention. Can you just imagine that? Anyway, I'm digressing. What was my point again....Oh, I remember. I was talking about Oprah. I believe she lost weight the healthy way, through exercise and proper dieting. Some random guy was giving me 'authentic' gist that she goes to the hospital where his aunty works every year, to have fat 'sucked' out from her body!! What da.... Crazy guy huh? I can't believe my beloved Oprah will lie to her loyal and loving fan base! If she said liposuction was the was to go, we'll all save our very last kobo to get it done. Hope she's not deceiving us (making us do what she never did-exercise and proper diet!). That will be so uncool. LOL. Please judge for yourselves.

Thanks to all of you who find my blog and drop your comments. I am encouraged.
I'm out.

Take Two...

2008-01-09T11:36:00.000+01:00

Just last month I was having a conversation with some typical Nigerian men and I was mad to hear the things they had to say. Ok, see me O! I worship at a very popular church in Abuja and our head pastor is gorgeous. She has ‘The Word’ but she is also real good looking. My friends and I got into this argument about how they felt she was not celibate (her husband is late). They believed that a woman that pretty had to have someone who serviced (pardon the use of that word!) her at regular intervals… I know…such nerve hmmn? For a moment I was speechless, then I responded by saying that I didn’t know if she had a young (or old) man for that purpose, but it is possible for a woman to keep herself without sex if she wanted to. They laughed in my face as if what I was saying was impossible, just imagine. One of them, E, also argued that he was a Catholic and he had seen many instances where even Reverend Fathers and Sisters had rendezvous and sexcapades, saying ‘body no be fire wood’.

Ok, pause. I am a 25 year old virgin (did you say something?). And I definitely know it is totally possible to be celibate for a long period of time. .tell me about it! (e no easy sha, abeg!) But most guys think it’s impossible. So imagine their animated faces when I reluctantly revealed this just to buttress my point. They jumped up and down. I told them that I couldn’t speak for anyone, but advised them to respect my pastor and not say those things about her. They left that matter, na me them come face.

‘So you are a virgin?’ E asked. ‘I don’t believe you. Prove it to us,’ he continued.

‘Haba,’ I replied. ‘How am I supposed to do that? It’s either you believe me or you don’t.’ The conversation continued along those lines. After we had this conversation, I could tell that they had this new respect for me and my bobo. It was obvious they didn’t think such people still existed. I was even surprised that they believed me, as most people just don’t believe me when I tell them. What’s the big deal? Don’t get the wrong impression. I’m by no means a prude but I believe what I believe and for me, sex before marriage is out of the question. Another friend of mine in another place and time once told me he wanted to date and marry an untouched woman. He would love to be his wife’s first. He just couldn’t stand to know she had been with another guy, or maybe 2 or 3 or 20..eewwww! But then, the age old argument arises again. Some guys want them fresh, yet they insist on sex in a relationship they don’t believe will necessarily lead to marriage. I know some ladies don’t mind and I respect their choices. But even as una dey do am, small small o…AIDS is real! LOL.

So tell me, has anyone met any 25yr old virgins? Would the guys want a virgin wife? For the married ones, were you your wife’s first?

I’m out. Have a lovely day!

On Your Mark, Set.......GO

2008-01-08T11:05:00.000+01:00

Hello Everyone, and welcome to my blog!
I'm new to blogging and just caught the blog bug! I'm inspired by the likes of Bella Naija, Adaure, 9jamommy, calabar gal, and many many more. I love to read what they put up (even though many of them haven't blogged recently). I miss them and can't wait for them to be back..(Can you imagine I've been reading old messages, as far back as 2005 and having a ball!) This is so much fun, and I hope this blog can receive exposure. I don't have the intention of becoming famous or anything like that through this, but I just want to put my heart out there and share a piece of me with everyone.

What could be so interesting about me you may ask? But you'll get to find out if you stick with me. I believe that this is a journey and all who come with me will grow with me. I will talk about things that happen to me, around me, in the entertainment world...basically anything. I have chosen the cloak of anonymity not because of cowardice , but so I do not hurt the people to whom I may refer as they may not want their stories out there.

But for now, I have to get back to work, and I beg the Ultimate bloggers to please resume work. I need my own dose to help me 'destress' every now and then.
Happy new year and have a nice day!